Originally posted on August 26, 2020 @ 11:07 am
You know the feeling of a mixture of disgust and pain one gets whenever he or she is tired of something he or she cared for, well my case it’s someone. I didn’t plan it but we had been together since high school and college for up to eight years I loved him so much but I needed space, to be with other guys and know what it felt like, I had come across so many cute hot guys in the past and present and I know in the future most times I wanted to kiss them or probably have sex with them but I couldn’t for the guilt I’d probably feel and the way I’d hurt him i tried space but it didn’t work out I just have to think of something else because it was suckin my blood and each time I saw him I felt a surge of disgust around me, not that he was filthy but like he got something on me I can’t possibly figure it out, I don’t even know what it feels like to be fucking cheated on or to have a broken heart like my friend here Stacey Luke man, my friend has been dating Austin Windsor a relative to the queen of England rich and gorgeous, hers was worse cause she walked into him cheating, I know that’s bad and I hate Austin for doing that to such a sweet Blondie, but now I really don’t know what to say cause all my eight years with my boyfriend he has been sweet to me, experience they say is the best teacher I feel I haven’t learned anything at all…
“Earth to Regina” Brooke Mackson said to me calling me back from my inner thoughts
I turned sharply, and looked at Stacey who’s tears had dried up I pitied her really cause she cared for Austin. I really won’t want this kind of pain but at the same time I would want to know what it feels like, I usually felt weird whenever any of them had issues but I never had any to discussion with them anything I had cause I never had relationship issues as serious as theirs just petty fights that tiny kisses could solve I never wanted them to feel jealous of me or envious that I had it all in life, good grades, a good job as a writer in a newspaper and magazine company especially since I had me few celebrities which wanted to be featured on our Magazine cover. we were nothing like Vogue but we definitely weren’t anything small at all. I cleared my head from all these thoughts and shifted my attention to my friend and her sister, step sister rather
“It his loss, Stace” I said and she gave me a rueful smile I didn’t want to push further so I took her hands from across the table at the cafe we sat in our usual one and usual spot it actually used to be just I and Stacey’s until Brooke came to join her as at last year and she had being a strong hold to Stacey. I love their continuous love for each other even though not the same Father, they are closer than some twins.
“I know,he will come back” Stacey surprised us by saying and I gave her a small nod
“The night is young what do you intend on doing..eh?” Brooke said
“Watch a movie?” Stacey asked, I was so happy for her enthusiasm since one week we had been coming to this particular cafe to sulk and cry with Stacey but I guess she was getting better
“Argh…no silly, clubbing”
I smiled at Stacey who seemed not too cool about it and immediately my smile faded
“You do not want to go?”
“Oh I dont know I wasn’t sure you know after everything I wanted to g….”I cut her shut
“Oh come on Stace, Austin might be doing something fun with his life right now you should do the same,Brooke is offering to take us to a club”
“Oh God it’s not that easy, you don’t even know a thing about being heartbroken”she snapped, ouch it stung real bad. I let go of her hand across the table.
“Come on now, Stacey, Regina was just being a good friend and you should appreciate it”
I smiled at Brooke for defending me but Stacey was right I had no clue about being heartbroken not that I wanted it so bad but I didn’t know a thing about being without my boyfriend who just texted me..
Am done with work when are you coming home
Me a year ago would have sent an aww but me right now just turned my screen light of and slid the phone back to my purse into my bag with so much disgust I hissed.
“Cat got your tongue?” Brooke asked after dropping her phone to look at me
“Nope it’s just Cole” I said looking at Stacey whom I didn’t want to make her feel bad more that my boyfriend was checking on me while hers was drowning himself with another Bambi.
“Am sorry I snapped Gina”
“It’s kay, babes I just want you know I’m here for you always and forever” what I said kinda reminded me of Cole
“Nigga wants to see you?” Brooke asked
“Yeah, his back from work”
“Your so lucky Gina” Stacey said smiling at me I didn’t know if was a fake smile but it seemed genuine and I smiled back ruefully at her
“Not so lucky as you think” I sighed looking away
“Oh my God what’s wrong?” Stacey asked really worried, I mean who wouldn’t high school sweethearts, college sweethearts as well and I’m so surprised we aren’t living together. Or even engaged
“Am tired Stace” I said quietly I wasn’t sure if she heard me but after I heard her laughing, this time turned to look at her and so did Brooke who stopped whatever she was doing on her phone although she seemed to have heard me since she was a good listener, unlike me, like what my heart was telling me not to overthink this thing with Cole but my head was stronger.
“Why the fuck will you be tired of Cole” Stacey asked after she had calmed the fuck down, I was sure she thought I was unbelievable.
“I don’t know I just need more experience” I shrugged
“Wait fucking Cole Spring isn’t good in bed?” Brooke asked me with amusement in her words
I rolled my eyes at her and she chuckled, fuck it Cole was perfect how could I tell my friends it was just me ” Cole is perfect, guys I just don’t know what it feels like to kiss another guy or even sleep with another guy or like Stacey said to be heart broken”
“Oh my God Gina, I hope it wasn’t because of what I said I was completely wrong you don’t have to experience anything to know how it feels like and you have been the best friend any one could wish for” she said with so much panic, my love for Stacey increased and I smiled at her.
“No of course not”
“Then what?” Brooke asked me seeming a bit off, what was her problem?
“I have thought of this for a while like since…” My words trailed off
“Peter was hitting on you right?” Brooke completed it for me,Stacey looked at us confused and I noticed so I answered her confusion and the questions in her head
“You were at Paris with Austin” I saw the sadness wash over her face but she still tried to keep a straight face seeming this was more important “I went to this charity event with Cole and Peter his new colleague from the hospital came to me he was so cute and funny and smart…”
Stacey cut me off “sounds like Cole to me” I rolled my eyes at her And continued “I liked him I swear i did I really wanted to go on the date with him he looked cool but Cole came in and spoilt everything and said I was his girlfriend then I realized how I was just bounded to one guy and I really almost broke up with him we actually fought for two days but he apologised and we made up”
“And you didn’t tell me any if this.” Stacey asked. Was that her problem?
“You were on a vacation Stace I obviously wouldn’t want to ruin it” I defended
“So what do you want to do?” Brooke asked
“What do you mean, what does she want to do” Stacey used her right hand to cup my jaw across the table to make sure my attention was only for her
“Hey, your not doing anything this is just a phase you guys are happy together, you are gonna go home to your man, a lot if us are looking for Men like Cole supportive, smart,fucking bloody drop dead gorgeous young man”
She was right, hell Cole was drop dead gorgeous I mean he always won most handsome for his soccer team in high school and was nominated as the most handsome boys on campus I guess some of that contributed to how I felt over the years this feeling of insecurity so I felt I wasnt good enough I wasn’t fine enough with all the girls running after Cole Spring the rich, smart ,funny and handsome young man. what was wrong with me I guess I needed closure..
“I know that Stace but it doesn’t work anymore no matter how much I try to remind myself about it” I said and her hands feel from my jaw
“So you wanna break up?” She asked
“I want an open relationship” I said confidently
“Oh my God eww Gina how can you think of that don’t you care about contacting a disease” Brooke asked
And I laughed so hard and soon they All joined me
“No am dead serious, Gina, why would you think of that at all?”
“That way we would be together but be able to see other people and eventually when we don’t want anymore maybe after finding someone else we would split”
“I dont know about this Gina I have a gut feeling about this” Stacey said looking sick from all the information.
“Yeah me too, but if that makes you happy”Brooke said and Stacey shot her a warning glare and she gave her the expression of what.
“Don’t worry guys it’s fine I want to move into a wider horizon”. They both nodded knowing me fully well, once I made up my mind it was hard and almost difficult to change my mind back
“When do you plan on telling him?” Stacey asked
“Tonight the faster the better”
“What if he doesn’t agree like either ways to say no to losing you and not going ahead with the open relationship plan or breaks up with you cause he can’t share you” Brooke asked and Stacey nodded towards Brooke as if she had said what was going on in her mind
“Then…”I haven’t actually thought of it, was I ready to lose Cole? “We’d break up then”
“Oh my God Gina think of what you doing please,”Stacey screamed and then continued “being heartbroken isn’t a good thing take it from me,”Stacey said like she had had enough
I gave her a reassuring smile that everything will be alright. I just hope I was sure.
Author: Blessing Ogbor
Instagram: Blessing Ogbor
Blessing ogbor is a watpad author ( Ogbor-b), creative writer and story teller who is inspired by movies, stories, her imagination and critic. For her critics does her a Favour cause she gets to learn and improve from it.
Will Regina eventually ask for an open relationship with Cole. Will the out come be as expected or will it be totally unexpected ?. To find out more about the sweet heart you can read complete story on wattpad.